Yesterday I was in the park eating lunch with the 3 three year old girl I watch and Freddie (the cutest dog ever ). Some hoodlum had graffitied an explicative on the bench we were sitting on. Spotting it she gets very excited and points to it.
“F! I see an F for Freddie!”
Today, we went for a walk in the neighborhood. During our walk we experienced quite a few cars honking their horns at each other. She turns to me and asks, “Why is everyone so Horny today?!”
The three year old girl I spend time with is riding her trike around the house… Me: Don’t go too fast, that’s dangerous. Her: (yelling and frustrated) IM GOING THE SPEED LEMON!!!
3 Year Old Girl: What is Massachusetts?
Me: Massachusetts is where I used to live. I come from Massachusetts, do you know where you are from?
3 Year Old Girl: I come from Costco.
So the 3 year old girl I’ve been spending most of my time with might be crazy, but, she’s also my favorite.. and knows EXACTLY what will make me laugh. For the past couple of months she’s been trying out her jokes on me in a really sleuth manner. Whenever she needs attention, or feels like she wants to make me laugh, she’ll say something close to:
Do you want to know a thing? or Can I say a thing?
She’s been saying the same variation of ‘thing’ to me for months now, but it’s effective.
Toilets that can fly with water dumping onto your bed.
and then we both crack up laughing.
3 Year Old Girl: I’m feeling happy!
Me: Really? That makes ME feel happy!
3 Year Old Girl: No you can’t feel happy. You’re feeling like trash candy.
Me: But I’m smiling because I’m happy.
3 Year Old Girl: But you’re trash candy.
Me: (Letting out a sneeze) Excuse Me!
Girls Mother: Bless you!
3 Year Old Girl: You are blessed Mary Kate.
While walking to school with a girl I care for the other day we walked passed a scraggly man. He had a shopping cart full of cans and other things, a white beard, and a cane. As we walked passed him she gripped my hand tight and then whispered,
“IS THAT A REAL PIRATE?’
Today we went to Griffith Park and went on all sorts of adventures. While waiting to take a train ride she spotted a man jogging which inspired the following conversation:
”Why that man has no shirt?”
“Well he’s exercising and is probably very hot.”
“How come girls can’t take their shirts off?”
“Well, women like to keep their breasts private.”
“But he doesn’t care who sees his breast-es? I don’t want to see his breast-es.”
And then a little later on the train…
“Oh you have an eyelash! let me get it!”
“Can I make a wish?”
“Okay, close your eyes and blow it away!”
“I WISH FOR A BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS TO COME TO MY HOUSE TOMORROW AND TO GIVE A HUG TO YOU AND THEN TO ME!!!!!———I wished for that so hard!!!”